Actually, it turned out to be a drawn-out celebration since Tito and Tita are here for a week. We hiked at Morris Island, went strawberry picking, saw fireflies in a treed park near our neighborhood when we went for an evening walk, did a short day trip to Perth and Brocksville, Ontario.
Now that he's four, a handful of people told me how fast he's grown up. Not quite. I've been with him all the days of his life, to me, he's still the same little boy I held on day one.
And just like any other healthy child, he hit his milestones at the right pace. Sometimes I wish it's true, that his development fast tracks so I could finally have a surplus of time.
At first, I felt a little guilty about this. Unlike most of the people I know, who want more children, I lean towards the opposite. There are still so many things I want to do, places to see, things to accomplish, I thought having more children would set me back. (Unless we're multimillionaires, who could afford a surrogate and a nanny. Haha. You wish!) Well, some people are simply different.
Anyway, below are the 4 things I've learned as a mom.
1. Motherhood isn't easy.
Changing body. Sleepless nights. Tantrums. Toddler screams and complaints and manipulations. Prepared or not, you have to learn to deal with them all. Many times you have to scrape up the internet last minute to be able to handle what is required of you.
Had we lived closer to our families, parenting would have been manageable. Unfortunately, that's not an option. And since money is budgeted, we had to do everything on our own.
2. Motherhood involves sacrifice.
I have to be willing to give up many things to take care of our son. Sadly, there's too much background noise in my head, unproductivity drove me crazy. I got depressed with my ugly body, not earning my own money, with nothing much going on with my life.
To help with my mental health, I decided to do part-time work 6 months after giving birth. A year later, I started working out again.
Yes, sacrifice is needed. But the same time, you have to take care of you too.
3. Children learn by observing. They emulate you.
My son may look like daddy, but he acts more like mommy. That's because he spends most of his time with me. I live life the way I want to son to be. He also emulates other adults, their expressions, their actions. Many times, I had to correct my own mother like not teach the child to fear the dark. Sometimes, friends for using bad words.
A child's development stage is critical. With that in mind, we surround him with love, curiosity and grace. It is of utmost importance to teach him about the fear of God too, given the culture we live in today.
Of course, we aren't perfect. Thus, I pray for God's wisdom to parent our son best.
4. Learning to forgive myself is important
Parenting unearths a lot of ugly stuff in me. I easily get angry, annoyed and whatever must-nots in the parenting book.
Everytime I fall, I make sure to come to God's throne to receive fresh grace and mercies. After dealing with my heart issue, I then humbly ask my son for forgiveness. I do the same to my husband when my negative emotions spill on him.
Unloading my dirt regularly is necessary for self-care. This prevents hurting myself and other people in the long run. As the adage say, hurt people, hurt people.
Are you a mom? If so, what things have you learned in your role as a parent?